Living Well

Posts Tagged ‘recovery process

 

 

One of the interesting to experience aspects of recovering from trauma and depression is the change in your senses.

 

I am not sure if senses such as sight, taste, sound, smell and even your skin’s ability to feel

 

actually become less and more acute in various ways or your brain simply stops interpreting data from the stream that you no longer pay attention to.

 

I became extremely sensitive to sounds, especually repetative machine sounds. clocks ticking, metronome or machine drum music, fans, airplanes – sounds vary in frequency and the shape of the sound wave

the drone of a fan compared to nails scraped down a black board

 

for vision, it’s colours that disappear and the world literally becomes more grey,

food and beverages become less flavourful

 

so from time to time, as my stress and anxiety levels lessen

as I become convinced to expect positive interactions with people as not only the norm

 

but as a given

 

I find that see more colours, more hues and nuanced shades – as well as suddenly having certain spectrums seem to return

 

such as one day, everything seemed to get yellower and brighter

 

but also sounds have become more distinct – ambient from background to foreground sounds

 

this week, I realized that I had not been hearing the full spectrum range – and this is a challenge when you are trying to listen to human voices in different pitches

 

if you can’t hear all the frequencies, you cannot parse for emotional content

 

to be able to respond appropriately or in kind.

 

Tomorrow is Friday.

 

now for most people, that is something to look forward to.

 

not me. for too long, Fridays were the days of highest terror and given that abusers fall into patterns

 

Friday was the day that the workplace conflict was escalated.

 

Whether it was to ensure my sense of terror and helplessness continued over the weekend. which, given the dread of Mondays, really didn’t need Friday as a peak terror day.

 

In any event. I, as a coping mechanism once I was at home and no longer had to report to work, was to forget which day of the week it was.

 

Because even now, a year later. I become more edgy and nervous, more easily stimulated into being overwhelmed.

 

Honestly, it’s like having PMS every week instead of just once a month. compounded to be sure.

 

but for the last month, I have been able to keep track of what day of the week it is. so YAY ME

 

And lately I have actually been correct.  so CELEBRATE ME.

 

 

 

 


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