Living Well

Posts Tagged ‘travel

I propose that for the sake of simplicity that the fall season just be declared one long holiday

 

Thanksgivoweenadanuchakmaszaa  or something that helps roll all the holidays that occur around the world and keep one day aside РNovember 11 Рfor Remembrance and Memorializing those who gave their lives so that the rest of us might be here to enjoy whatever holiday we celebrate or just to work and play well with others Рso that no one else need be asked to do such a thing again.

 

That’s the part we’re not supposed to forget.

 

You know. as we celebrate genocide of indigenous people through the north and south American continent…..

 

seriously, none of these are my holidays…….

 

okay Halloween. that’s like national everyone be queer day.

 

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Collectively and individually

agoraphobic philosopher says

I say what I mean I mean what I say
I am not mean to ruin your day
you’ve misunderstood what I say

consider there’s considerations at play
sun above earth below another day
blue moon tonight howl and bay

 

 

I enjoy the Cowboy Junkies most haunted version of this song and while Elvis was hardly the only one who recorded that song, I think his is the most heart rendering version. Sorta like kd lang’s Halleluh is the best version of the Leonard Cohen song, because only her version captures the rapture and the kink subtext of the bible story.

 

so really, as a writer, I can tell you that you can’t really understand anything until you can understand the subtext and nuances.

 

and, as a person in trauma recovery. I can also tell you all that unless a person can understand nuance and subtext…. You really can’t understand anything around you.

 

In some ways, having people treat you like you are normal is the worst thing ever, because you are not normal and your responses are not normal and your understanding of what’s going on around you is not normal. Your perceptions are altered and it’s difficult for people who have not been through trauma or depression to understand that.

 

I am grateful every day to my roommates Rhonda and Lorne who support and accommodate my strange behaviours and remind me every day of who I used to be and they celebrate with me, throughout the day, the person that I have now become.

 

I am grateful every day to my online support system of friends too, some of whom I have known for almost 20 years over various sites, http://www.zoetrope.com and http://www.thewritersbuilding.org! YEAH WRITERS  and more recent friends on Facebook of all places.

 

Yeah facebook! cheaper than therapy, but not as fun as bubble wrap! LOL

Agoraphobic Philosopher says:

People post a lot of things on facebook that reveal an awful lot about themselves as people. More often than not, far more than they ever release.

So one thing that I have noticed that people post about is their challenges in life.

So I would like to share one of mine.

Today I learned that the absolutely most scary combination of words to say in the whole of the English Language, whatever version of English that you use.

I am scared and I need help.

And the reason I know that is because I just had a panic attack that was so mild and safe for me, that I was finally able to WHISPER THOSE WORDS in the safety of my bedroom, in my own house that I share with Rhonda K. Jackson and Lorne Szmek and their daughter Dayel.

Because Lorne has gone to work and Rhonda’s sleeping. So I am the responsible adult in the house for a nine year old child and I can’t be having crying sobbing screaming running around the house in a panic kind of attack under the circumstances.

So being responsible to other people in addition to being in a loving and supportive environment with Rhonda who I worked with 12 years ago at another abusive corporate culture department. I mean, I am at home on disability from Department number 7 of the ones that I worked at over 13 years.

and it amazing to me to see the difference in health, physically at least that is discernible from the two videos.
but the happiest video that I made was this one for my Mom, doing my Grandmother’s favorite song and I sang it in my best Anne Murray!
I’ve been getting so much practise with story telling and joking around with my roommates that I have really gotten my sense of humour back – and that’s the most critical element to mental health. That I even tried to work out a actual stand up comedian routine so I made a comedy video, based on a short script that I had written several years ago for a now defunt Vancouver acting comedy group, The Sweet Tarts.
Because your sense of humour is also where your sense of perspective and sense of proportionality comes from.
if you can’t laugh at yourself, then you don’t get to laugh at others.
Because if all you do is laugh at others, then you are a bully. It’s that plain and simple.
In any case, your sense of humour allows you to cope, find ways to be happy and find joy regardless of your circumstances.

That’s not blowing smoke nor being Pollyanna neither.

 

Although, Haley Mills was my first baby dyke crush before I discovered Kristy MacNicol in Little Darlings!

 

 

aaaaa Little Darlings……

 

That everything you tell the person you love is actually and specifically true.

Because there is nothing in the world like knowing that you can absolutely 100% rely on every word that you hear from the person you love is just as exactly true.

So, if you are not willing to speak the truth in a manner that is comprehensible to the person you love – why do you think you love them at all?

And really, if you can’t communicate with your partner in a comprehensible way, how can you really know if they love you?

so, it’s no wonder to me that in most couples, one or both people are always one foot out the door and scanning the horizon for new and better prospects.

 

 

I was going to put the one liner version on the Shut In Stand Up Blog, but the later comment made me feel it was more appropriate on this Living Well in recovery blog.

 


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